Aging Bods

Remember your first encounter with a brassiere, guys? it was a little wisp of a cotton thing, wasn’t it. A sort of trick of the light. and a quick twist of the tiniest, flimsiest little hook and eye at the back, and it’s off, and so were the pair of you….

Then you got married. And now if you’re lucky enough to get your hands anywhere near the bra, it’s no longer the same item, is it. Now it it’s the prison matron model. It’s got seven or eight hook and eyes on it. A padlock or two. you need both hands and a torch to get this thing off. I’m talking about a welding torch.

Up front, now we’re talking some serious engineering, steel underpinnings, cantilevers, cross bracing. all the romance and sensuality has been abandoned in a desperate quest just to keep everything sort of horizontal.

Meanwhile, the male physique also gotten pear shaped pretty damn quick, too. one minute we’re all hard bodies, muscle tone and testosterone, we get married, and everything goes to hell in handbasket. what was a cute little belly has now become a serious impediment to finding our penises.

Well, we can find them, we just can’t see them anymore. and this is why we get so obsessed with having bigger penises. this is why we want a bigger one, so we can actually see it, confirm that everything is present and correct.

Meanwhile, the male physique also gotten pear shaped pretty damn quick, too. one minute we’re all hard bodies, muscle tone and testosterone, we get married and everything goes to hell in handbasket. what was a cute little belly has now become a serious impediment to finding our penises.

Well, we can find them, we just can’t see them anymore. and this is why we get so obsessed with having bigger penises. this is why we want a bigger one, so we can actually see it, confirm that everything is present and correct.

I’m not worried about reaching male menopause. I don’t need to look for penis substitutes to boost my failing masculinity.  I don't need private jet or a speedboat with three 275 horse mercurys on the back to represent a big penis.  my e type isn’t a representation of a bigger penis, i just drive it to piss off ten-year-olds.

And if i did have got any concerns, i just go to a doctor in California and get a big penis.  there are ads for them everywhere.

"Doc, i'm 50 now and i think it's about time for that big penis."

"Sure, we can fix that.  swing on by."

So, you go home that evening with this surprise package in your pants. only problem is, your spouse has moved on a little.   a few years back, she would have grabbed an opportunity like that with both hands.

Now, she looks at you and she looks at the package and she looks back at you and she says, "Okay... how much did that fucking thing cost?"