Signage

Take for example, the big sign on the side of the Southern Outlet at Mt. Nelson. 

Roads for our future, it proclaims in large letters. I know some of you thought this was a clear winner of the bureaucratic stupidity award.

Roads for our future.  

I know you’re excited because we’ve stopped building roads for our past. I think you’ll agree that Roads for the Past was  something of a waste of time.

I mean, the convicts did a pretty good job, and I think they had it covered.

So the State Roads people here in Hobart have decided they need to tell us they are now making roads for the future. 

Not necessarily today, they want to have some wiggle room. They have created an entire program called Roads for our Future. Having eliminated the past, I think we can agree there is only one place for roads, and that’s in the future.  

We now come to a perennial on our potential winners for the Stupidity award.  This is for Crime Stoppers, Yes, you’ve heard of this group, and they are here again in the final three for The Stupids.

The main task of Crime Stoppers, which works in conjunction with Tasmania Police, is to publish in the Mercury a list of all the stuff that’s been stolen in the past week or so.

That’s right. Crime Stoppers regularly tell us how well they are doing, crime stopping, by making a list of all the recent crimes in Tasmania that they haven’t stopped. 

I know some of you have already seen the flaw in this organisations mission statement... The crime isn’t stopped—it’s out the door and down the street and found a new home in Bridgewater. 

By the way, you may have caught news of how Crime Stoppers in London is also having some difficulty with its mission.

Here’s very recent news from London, reported by Crime Stoppers. Six robbers fled a smash-and-grab raid at a jewellers in central London. On a single moped.

That’s right, the entire gang and the jewels got away on a single moped. So reported Crime Stoppers in London. Just the other day.

Six guys, one moped. They don’t need crime Stoppers in London. How about: Clown Stoppers? Would that work better?